I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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