I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
