I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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