My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
