just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
