I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
