I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
