so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
