her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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