I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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