im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
