Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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