youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
