yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
