Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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