i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
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