then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize