Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
