Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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