My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
