To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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