Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
