I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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