My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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