i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I had to cum in my sink.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
