She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
