Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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