who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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