did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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