"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
