We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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