he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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