What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i've created a new STD.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I have tasted many bathrooms
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
