you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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