her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She even gives head with a lisp.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
