i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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