The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
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Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
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He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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