we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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