Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
not ubering you a puppy
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
