Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
