The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
