Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
