you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
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Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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