But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
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come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
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Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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