So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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