He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
