She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
