just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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