i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
