I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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