it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
