I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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