I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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