You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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