So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
