I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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