Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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