the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
