Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
